Yawn...

CAUTION: I'M EXTRA WHINNY IN THIS POST.

I am tired.

I'm sure there are times when I'm standing in line at the store or talking to co-workers when I have this glazed over, barely awake stare...SORRY.  Please just excuse this tired Mama.  I think the combination of not sleeping more that a few hours at a time, waking up early on off days and working a 2nd job has me whooped!  My off days are usually full of laundry, grocery store, cooking, and straightening up the house.  I'm not sure how I'm supposed to just lounge around and play with my babies.  When I sit down to play with them, I last about 15 minutes then slide down on my side, curl up and wish that I could just go to sleep.  Am I am awful mommy?  No, just a tired one.

Since I'm breastfeeding, I get up to feed Lucy every time she wakes up.  It still wakes Jacob up. Usually if we are both off on the weekends, we take turns on who sleeps late.  Those mornings are like a breath of fresh air.  

We did the "crying it out method" (with our pediatrician's permission) with Bella when she was 4 months old.  It was tough for about 3 nights.  The 1st night, she cried a good 30 minutes, I snuck in her room to make sure she was safe (she didn't see me). Then it broke my heart, but I walked out and shut the door.  The next night she didn't cry quite as long and the 3rd night she cried just a few minutes.  With a consistent routine, she has been a pretty good sleeper since then.  I would highly recommend it to any overly-tired mommy.  I have no idea how parents survive when babies cry for years.  The thought of that makes me almost fall asleep in this chair.  With Lucy's upcoming 4 month marker, I'm dreaming of routinely sleeping 6-8 hours uninterrupted.  I hope that my expectations aren't too high and that she does just as good as Bella did when it comes to the "crying it out".  The guilt is horrible when they are lying there all alone crying, but them having good, long quality sleep is very important to them as well!  So if we have to suffer a few nights to improve EVERYONE'S sleep...then it's worth it.  

I feel a twinge of guilt even writing this because I know every parent experiences exhaustion and I know mine isn't any worse that any one else going through the same exact thing now.  I can just finally say...I know how ya feel!  And this too shall pass...right?!?!

At the end of these tired, long days, I am so overwhelmed with love and these babies bring me so much joy  that I would not change a thing!

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